This was definitely French week. Tuesday night started it off with the opening of Cyrano de Bergerac at the Gate, which ended with the first opening night standing ovation I've ever seen in that theatre. Not often, either, that I've found my eyes damp with sentimental tears. The next day I was in the Fitzwilliam Hotel at Woodforde Byrne's wine tasting, where I had the rare opportunity to sample a flight of Clos de Tart ranging from 1989 to 1996, perhaps one of my favourite French wines. That night was review night and my guest was graphics designer Liv Barratier, a very talented lady who designed the cover of my last book and who also happens to be French. I do have a penchant for linking things together, so the idea of continuing the theme and going to a French restaurant with her seemed a natural.

North Dublin has been beckoning me for a while now and when I discovered that there was a restaurant in Malahide with the irresistibly Gallic name 'Les Visages' the choice was made. As is becoming my norm I met Liv in the Horseshoe before embarking on our journey northwards. She settled happily into a drink or two, whereas I, ever mindful of the unhappy bedfellows of driving and the demon drink restrained myself unhappily to Virgin Mary's. Just as well, since we'd got no further than O'Connell Street when I hit the first Garda check-point. Ah, the joys of Christmas. I've got a new toy in the car now, which allows me to play CDs through the tape deck sound system, so the multi-lingual Liv and I had Eros Ramazzotti playing at full volume while we sang along. In no time we'd parked at Malahide's sea-front, where I saw a lady trying unsuccessfully to get a spaniel to jump into the back of her Volvo estate. Helpfully I nudged it with my foot, repeating Cyrano's exhortation to Christian: 'Monte donc, animal.' She looked less than amused.

From the road, Les Visages looks a little like the upper decks of a ship: a huge, aluminium-sectioned bow window dominates the third floor of the building and overlooks the harbour. This nautical feel continues even as you wheeze your way up the stairs, which look exactly like the stairs in a ferry with a hand-rail to match. The room itself is large and spacious, and for some reason that I still can't quite pin down, it made me think of a ship's restaurant - perhaps it's because it's got that Stena-Sealink type of decor. We were shown to a large table by the window from where we could watch the lights twinkling on the still, moonlit sea.

Both of us were out of cigarettes, and unfortunately, explained our maitre, the cigarette machine had gone for repairs. Perhaps the faces of two nicotine-starved addicts melted his heart, because he said, 'I'll get someone to go to the shops for you.' He did, and we relaxed. My, there's service for you. With necessities out of the way we were given menus, a wine list, some good bread and a bottle of mineral water. The wine list is short enough, two French house wines at £10.95, a few Antipodean and South American wines, and only a half dozen or so French, which surprised me, given French chauvinism when it comes to wine. None of the French wines tickled my fancy, and since Liv's favourite Cote de Rhone shipper, Guigal, wasn't making an appearance, we picked the Koonunga Hill cabernet/shiraz from Australia at £16.50, which looked the best of a short lot.

There are two menus, an a la carte with starters around the £5 mark and main courses ranging from just under a tenner to £16.50 for the scallops, plus a table d'hote at £14.95. Just to show what kind of restrained and chivalrous person I am, I told Liv to order from the a la carte, while I, in the interests of research, chose from the more humble table d'hote. Actually this set menu represents great value. For starters there's a choice of melon and fruit compote, rillette of duck, black and white pudding, tomato and ginger soup, and for main courses you can choose from sirloin of beef, breast of chicken with an onion confit, sole bonne femme, fillet of lamb with celeriac, stuffed crepes, and then a choice of desserts, coffee and petits fours. Impressive enough for the price.

Liv went sea-food all the way with crab claws to begin with and scallops to follow. 'I love coquilles St. Jacques,' she said, 'you know, scallions.' 'Scallops,' I said, 'Scallions are onions.' I chose the rillette of duck and the sirloin of beef and we settled into the bread and wine. When the starters arrived they were on big, generous, plain white plates and were both delicious. Things were looking good. Our conversation turned to philosophy as conversations with French people are wont to. 'The name Visages,' I said, 'means faces doesn't it?' 'It does,' said Liv. 'Then why don't we deconstruct in a Derrida-esque way? I mean, why 'faces' for a restaurant?' Liv looked out of the window at the sea. 'There's a Sartrian existentialism at work here. The moon reflects in the sea, the sea reflects into this window glass, the glass reflects your face and mine. Voila - Visages.' So obvious once it's explained.

I've been a committed carnivore for all my life and have, over the course of the years, eaten a good many pieces of cow. But never, that I can remember, have I eaten a sirloin steak as tender as the one I had that night. But dear reader, please note; just as a bad meal may not be what a restaurant normally produces, it's just as possible that if you rush to Malahide to order a steak, it won't be like it was for me - after all it's down to the butcher, not the restaurant. Liv had five fat, perfectly cooked scallops which made her very contented - so much so that she would eat no dessert, saying that she'd prefer a dessert wine instead.

I chose the interestingly named chocolate desire which turned out to be one of those lush, rich puddings that you know you really oughtn't eat, but can't resist. Liv had her glass of Beaumes de Venise and a cappucino and I had an espresso with a petit four. Our bill came to £70 which included a 10pc service charge. Les Visages produces good food and their set dinner menu is remarkable value for money. Lucky are they that live nearby.