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I've often been asked just how I set about choosing a restaurant to review.
You could be forgiven for thinking that I take a pin and stick it into
a Golden Pages listings, but actually there really are some criteria for
the choices. Firstly I try as far as I can to spread myself geographically,
and secondly I try not to review several restaurants of the same type
within a short period. You might also think that I have a chauvinistic
penchant for Italian restaurants, but if you check any restaurant listing
you'll see that as an ethnic type there are more of them than of any other
kind.
PR companies are very good at keeping me informed of when a new restaurant
opens, but word of mouth is perhaps the best overall guide. Friends in
Kildare have encouraged me to try some of their local restaurants and
over the past few weeks I've tried to book into them without success.
Perseverance eventually paid off and I booked a table for my wife and
myself in Berney's Restaurant in Kilcullen. It's a drive over the mountains
from where I live, but it was a dry evening and there were stars twinkling
in the sky as we drove over the Wicklow Gap into Hollywood.
From here the road to Kilcullen takes you past the perfectly kept walls
and hedges of some of Kildare's big studs, like Ardenode and Ragusa, where
the road is lined with impressive mature beeches. In the past I've often
stopped briefly in Brannockstown to admire the travelling chapel, which
seems to live there. It's a chapel built onto a van complete with a steeple.
The first time you see it you really do a doubletake. Unfortunately there
was no sign of it - perhaps it was working its peripatetic way elsewhere
around County Kildare.
We arrived in Kilcullen's Main Street and found Berney's easily. It's
a large pub, brightly lit, and the restaurant takes up much of the ground
floor. The entrance is through the pub which has a pleasant enough lounge.
It was at around this time, as I thought of having a quick one in the
bar, that I put my hand into my pocket and found no wallet. The wave of
panic abated as I found a cheque book in my pocket and then came back
again when I realised the cheque card was in my missing wallet. And I
had only two cigarettes. 'Now what?' said Susie. 'We'll tell the truth,'
I said, pushing open the plain, brown door marked restaurant.
We walked into a warm and cosy room with a fire blazing at the far end
and were greeted at once by a charming and friendly lady. I wasted no
time. 'Before we sit down I should tell you that I've come with a cheque
book, but no cheque card.' She looked at me and said, 'I'm sure that'll
be fine.' and showed us to our table. I must have an honest face, I decided.
The restaurant has large, linen covered tables that are well spaced;
half-curtains on the windows that look out onto the pavement; a russet-peach
pastel paint on the walls and some rather nice cutlery. As we looked at
the menus and wine list we drank mineral water and ate some of the home-made
breads on the table. The menu took me a little by surprise. Starters are
all around the £6 mark and main courses run from just under £15
to £22. Desserts are £4.25. You could spend £30 a head
here just for the food, no bother. That puts it very definitely in the
upper echelons of price. Yet I was aware that I was sitting in a room
off a provincial lounge bar. These two facts seemed slightly at odds with
one another, but I decided to wait and see what the kitchen would provide.
Starters included things like soup, pate, scampi and melon, and main
courses included rack of lamb, sirloin steak, fillet steak, salmon, black
sole, chicken breasts and kingsize prawns. Good, honest-looking dishes,
but not at the cutting edge of gastronomic experimentation. No harm in
that; personally I'm a big fan of cuisine grand-mere so I had no difficulty
in choosing pate with Cumberland sauce to start and veal in a Roquefort
sauce to follow. Susie had decided that her appetite was slight this evening
and therefore she chose tomato and avocado salad to start and then asked
if she could have the scampi from the starters as a main course. 'No trouble
at all,' said our charming waitress.
The wine list was exactly the kind of wine list that I like. Thirty or
so reds and thirty or so whites ranging in price from just under £12
to £50, but 90 pc of the wines are under £20. The mark up
is an average 100pc, and the very few wines over the £20 barrier
are good value: a Chateau Giscours 1993 at just over £30 is a very
good price. Because Susie was on fish and I was on veal, white seemed
the obvious choice and there was one on the list that leapt out at me.
Madfish Unoaked Chardonnay from Australia at £18.50. I know that
the variants of Creuzfeld-Jacob disease are being found in kangaroos and
domestic cats, but Madfish? The mind boggles. It arrived with an interesting
label of aboriginal art that depicted what I think is The Great Turtle,
whose egg made the world. It was a stunning wine, and I'll be looking
out for it from now on.
The starters arrived and were very nicely presented on plates with a
neo-artdeco design. Good, home-made pate for me and a simple salad for
Susie. The main courses were also good: Susie's scampi being probably
about as interesting as scampi can get, with a good tartare sauce, while
my veal was really excellent. Thin slivers of veal in a perfectly made
cream-reduction sauce flavoured with wonderful Roquefort - a very good
dish. Small flats of vegetables and potato came with it.
We struggled with the idea of a dessert, me pressing for profiteroles
as a shared pud, but Susie was having none. In the end she finished with
a peppermint tea and I had what was described as an espresso which may
be the most watery demi-tasse of coffee I've ever been given. Berney's
gave us good, uncomplicated food and excellent, friendly service in a
cosy room. By Dublin standards it's expensive for what you get, our bill
came to £73.75 excluding service, but if you live in Kildare you
can eat well here without a long drive, and that's got to be a plus.
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