|
What have the Russians ever done for us? Apart from space exploration,
endless chess champions, women weight-lifters of indeterminate gender,
athletes and gymnasts, the winter palace in St. Petersberg, Faberge, enough
great novels to fill a large bookcase, St Basil's cathedral, Tchaikovsky
and Stravinsky, an indecipherable alphabet and iconic art, what, I asked
myself, have the Russians ever done for us? Oh, yes, they gave us practical
Marxism. And caviar. And vodka. You think about these things as you walk
towards what I think is Dublin's only Russian restaurant, the Tsar Ivan,
which is at the rear of the Westbury Hotel.
I was taking Isabel Smith to dinner, and one of her pet likes in this
world is Russian vodka, so going to a Russian restaurant seemed like a
perfect compliment. The restaurant is on the ground floor and was once,
I think, an Indian restaurant. The décor has the sort of feel that
you get when invention is in greater supply than cash. It looks for all
the world like a hotel dining room - it's got those big upholstered dining
chairs that hotels seem so to admire, but there's a Russian influence
here. On just about every ledge there are little Russian dolls in varying
sizes, dressed in traditional costume. Actually, as it turns out, these
costumes are pretty much what the waitresses wear, and as far as I could
tell they were all genuine Russians, as were the waiters.
All this is most encouraging when you hope to embark upon a Russian culinary
adventure. The menu, pleasingly for Isabel, began with a page of vodkas.
These Nostoykas turned out to be fruit-flavoured vodkas, which was not
what Isabel had in mind. However, pure, unadulterated Stolichnaya was
available, and that hit the spot. On the promise that she would help me
with the wine, I looked through one of the most reasonably priced wine
lists I've seen in this city. Four pages of listings, almost all under
£20, and plenty of good wines with a modest mark-up. £17 for
a bottle of Bankside Shiraz was good value, so we had a bottle of that.
With that choice made, it was back to the menu. It's quite jokey in it's
way: it's priced in roubles, and there's a note at the bottom of the page
that explains that here in the restaurant the exchange rate is one rouble
for one Irish punt. That makes calculating the bill a whole deal easier,
but I suspect you'd get a better rate than that from any street trader
in Moscow when you're paying in hard currency. The first page of the menu
proper explains that we're in the fourth department of the Kremlin canteen,
approved by the General Secretary of the communist party, so that should
assuage any remaining Leninist leanings you might have. The starters are
all less than £3.50 and main courses can be had from £8 upwards,
so by Dublin standards it's not expensive.
Now if, like me, you have pre-conceptions of what Russian food is about
- you know, that it's wholesome, filling and honest, then the Tsar Ivan
won't change your mind-set. Isabel and I decided not to choose anything
from the menu that didn't have a specifically Russian connotation. On
that basis we started with Siberian pelsemi for Isobel and blinis for
me. The pelsemi were dumplings, ten of them, that came poached in a broth.
'Exactly the sort of thing you'd want at the end of the day, if you'd
been trekking through the Urals,' mused Isobel. Nothing subtle about these
dumplings. Strongly flavoured and dense, you just knew they were designed
to combat Siberian winters by supplying you with enough carbohydrate and
protein to survive a night or two of minus 50 Celsius. I'd picked blinis
because I like them. They're pancakes essentially, and traditionally they
come with caviar and sour cream. Now at £4.95 you wouldn't expect
to get Caspian Beluga or Sevruga, and what's more you don't - but I did
expect my blinis to be made with a yeast base. What I got was the classic
pancake of pancake Tuesday, not with sugar and lemon however, but with
a red roe. Pleasant enough, but not my idea of a blini.
For the main course Isabel had picked the cabbage rolls, which were cabbage
leaves rolled and stuffed, on the same principle as Greek dolmados. I'd
chosen the Tzyplenok, which was a small chicken, like a poulet de Bresse,
which was served flattened out. I'd been offered a choice of chips or
new potatoes, and I chosen the new potatoes. There were enough on my plate
to feed a small army, and Isabel's cabbage rolls, although not so immediately
forbidding, were as filling as her dumplings. Actually, they didn't taste
very different from them either, I suspect the filling was much the same.
I wouldn't describe either of these dishes as haute cuisine, but they
were tasty and filling.
You'd need a big appetite to get through three courses here, but I'm
nothing if not a trier. Despite these Gargantuan dishes we looked at the
dessert menu. It's one of those that has the pictures of the various desserts
- the kind that you find in Indian and Chinese restaurants. Nothing very
Russian about any of these bought-in desserts, but the pictures were very
tempting none the less, so tempting that I couldn't resist ordering the
chocolate coupe. It arrived just like the one in the photo, in a fluted
glass, and between us we slowly nearly finished it.
You won't find an elaborate cuisine in the Tsar Ivan - honest and simple
are the epithets that spring to mind - but you will find generous portions,
efficient and friendly service, and good value both on the menu and on
the wine list. We finished up with a couple of coffees and the bill came
to £62.95.
|
|