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I've never been one for prognostication. To me gazing into the future
has always been like looking through a glass darkly. Vague forms hover,
that may or may not ever become a reality. We are, like it or not, in
a free fall into the future, which is by its nature unknown. Sometimes
we can hazard reasonable guesses as to what we might expect by the process
of projecting a current trend into the future. Estimates of world population
work like that: for example you say that, given the current growth levels,
then by 2321 there'll be 27 Chinese people per square metre of the earth's
land masses. But what the projections never take into account is that
new elements can enter the argument. Back in 1870 you could have predicted
that given the growth in horse-drawn vehicles over the previous 100 years,
by the year 2001 the whole planet would under 6 feet of horse manure.
The arrival of the horseless carriage, or motor car, ensured that we can
still breathe reasonably perfumed air and horse-drawn carriages are rarities.
But the way this week came to pass, has left me brave enough to make
a prediction. This was the week that on the same day, I went to eat at
a reasonably priced eatery with my son, and I heard that The Commons restaurant
was closing down. Now it's a truth that should be universally acknowledged
that expensive restaurants are not necessarily profitable ones - and I
should know, because I owned one. It's true in other fields as well. Aston
Martin failed to make a profit for over 60 years, yet made expensive cars.
It was saved by Ford, which also rescued Jaguar, and Fiat saved Ferrari.
In short you have a better shot at success in the mass market.
Given that, I'll read the cockerel's entrails and tell you that in the
next twelve months more expensive restaurants are going to close. Basically
there aren't enough people any more with enough money to fill them up.
The government, the banks and the insurance companies are dipping deeper
and deeper into our disposable income, so whereas a meal out might have
been a monthly treat in an expensive restaurant, soon it'll be once a
month in a less expensive restaurant. We'll go to cheaper establishments,
or we'll go less often to the ones we like. Either way restaurants are
looking at a future of smaller margins and fewer customers.
So on to my outing. My son was clear enough. 'I've often thought about
bringing you along to Ouzo's, but I've always avoided it. You see, if
you give it a great review I'll never get a table again without a reservation,
and if you don't like it then I don't want you to be mean to a place that
I like.' 'Me? Mean? That's not my MO - you know I'm a kindly person at
heart.' 'Look, dad, just try to treat this place the way I do. Don't go
picking dishes just to test them, don't go looking for three-course dining,
just treat it like I do, and all the other people who go there.' I assured
him I'd be a dutiful dad and would do exactly as he told me. He seemed
mollified by my assurances and led me down the stairs into Ouzo's.
If Ouzo's was in Italy it would be a trattoria. It has plain wooden tables
and bentwood chairs, there are big fans on the ceiling, the walls have
been left with exposed brick and stone, the aquarium houses tropical fish,
there are green plants around the place. For some demographic reason unknown
to me we had four Germans on our left and six on our right. 'Maybe it's
in a German food guide for Dublin,' suggested Rocco. We were sitting in
a corner of the smoking section in deference to my son's habit, since
I'm still off the fags, and from this vantage point I could see how often
the tables turned over. To my eyes it seemed busy for a Thursday night.
From the moment we walked down the stairs and were greeted and shown to
our table, we knew we were in the hands of professionals. Attentive and
quick, the service was a big plus throughout our meal there.
The wine list isn't very long, eight reds and eight whites, but the mark-up
isn't greedy. There are decent wines listed here for under €20, but
on this evening, with Rocco not drinking beer or wine and no half bottles
on the list, I ordered a glass of the house red for me and Rocco had a
rum and coke. Glasses of iced water and lemon came without asking, and
then a jug came on request. I let Rocco guide me through the menu.
It starts with appetisers and they include soup, chicken wings, king
prawns, goats cheese, potato skins, roasted vegetables and a chicken salad,
all of them in the €5 to €9 range, then some salads which are
in the €11 to €14 range, then a variety pastas priced at €12.95
and €13.95, then fish dishes priced between €15 and €18,
then meats like chicken lamb and beef. There's a list of nine pizzas as
well, all under €13, which completes quite a long menu. Rocco, as
is his habit, looked no further than the sirloin steak, which he had with
pepper sauce. I chose the calzone, a pizza which is folded in half before
cooking, so it comes out in a half-moon shape. It didn't seem like a lot
of food, so I persuaded Rocco to let us share a starter. We picked the
king prawns in filo pastry.
We ate both our dishes with pleasure, although sharing five prawns isn't
easy, but the real pleasure comes when while feeling contented and replete,
you get a bill for €49.35. I really can't remember so small a bill,
even when we used punts. So you know now on what my prediction is based.
Most of us can find €25 for a meal, whereas €75 and over is
for the very few.
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