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For the last four Sundays I've been sitting with Tom Doorley being a
restaurant critic on the new R.T.E. series 'The Restaurant', which will
have been screened by the time you read this. It's been a load of fun
to do, but it's also been a learning experience. What I've learned is
this: there is a surprising unanimity about good food and bad food. We
differ the most when it comes to placing those things that are neither
remarkably good nor deeply unpleasant - the things that inhabit the middle
ground. To put numbers on it, if we are marking out of ten, then we all
tend to agree about the 8s, 9s and 10s and also about the 1s, 2s and 3s.
We argue most about whether something might be worth a 4 or a 6. When
I say 'we' here, I mean we the critics on the show and the resident kitchen
team. It surprises me how often we agree. What that suggests to me is
that restaurant criticism isn't an entirely personal view - there are
plenty of points of agreement when several people venture an opinion on
the same dish. It's possible that there might just be a touch of objective
reality out there.
All this is not to say there aren't times when I find myself at odds
with the majority. This week is a case in point. For the past few years
I've tried occasionally to gain entry to the Elephant and Castle in Temple
Bar. Maybe three times altogether, but it was always so busy and there
was always such a long queue to get seated that I invariably gave up and
went somewhere else. It's obvious then, that whatever they're doing in
this restaurant pleases a great number of people. Sarah Owens and I got
there quite late one evening, around ten o'clock, and for once there wasn't
a queue. We were shown to our table immediately and Sarah let me sit looking
out at the restaurant, a seating position I rarely get. It's a pleasing
room, neither fussily decorated nor plain. The tables and chairs are simple
and brasserie-like, the service is both attentive and quick. As soon as
we'd sat down we were brought glasses of iced water and these were topped
up frequently throughout the evening. After a few weeks on the trot of
paying absurd money for mineral water, I found this to be immediately
endearing.
This was dissipated somewhat as I scanned the wine list. Let me put it
this way; most restaurant lists - especially restaurants in the bistro/brasserie
end of the market - have wine lists where the price clusters around the
€20 mark. A few wines below, a few above, but a quick look and you
sense that the median price is €20 a bottle. Here, in the Elephant
and Castle, the prices cluster around the €30. That makes me look
harder at the list - either they've only stocked really expensive wines,
or the mark-up is much higher than usual. In this case it's the latter.
You won't have to cough up for a bottle of over-priced mineral water,
instead you pay for over-priced wine. In the end I settled on the Foxwood
Syrah, a French varietal that was pleasing enough, but with a price tag
of €23.75.
So on to the menu. This is a place that's designed as far as I can see,
for the one-plate diner. You come in, you get a plate of something, you
leave. As a result the menu isn't set out in the classical starter, main
course, dessert format, but rather in the type of dish format. So there's
a section for salads, a section for sandwiches and one for burgers. There's
a long listing of various drinks, ranging from health-type smoothies to
different teas. Still, we were there to eat and we were both hungry, so
we finally settled on a Caesar salad to share as a starter, a loin of
pork for Sarah, which was a day's special, and a burger for me with the
added bonus of cheddar atop.
The first thing I noticed is that the portions are American; they're
big. Big plates, big portions. The Caesar salad, described as a 'Baby
Caesar' on my bill, was bigger than most I've seen as a starter and at
€8.95 more expensive than most. It is, by many accounts, a signature
dish and has been praised in print more than once. I found it too mustardy
and vinagary and I would have preferred to find the dressing dispersed
throughout the leaves - and indeed I'd have liked to see the leaves cut
up a little.
Next came the mains, Sarah's pork loin was in spiced medallions and was
served with a radicchio salad. Sarah enjoyed it and so did I, when I tasted
a bit. My burger was good too, but not exceptional, and it came with plenty
of chips. By this time we'd fallen into conversation with Eva and Allan
from Stockholm, who were sitting alongside us, so whatever quibbles I
may have had with my food were sublimated by conversation. We finished
our meal with an agreeable dessert, a yoghurt Frou-Frou, which was priced
at €8.50, not cheap for a pudding.
We were still chatting to our Swedish friends when the restaurant emptied
and it was time to go. I found myself puzzled by our meal, which for a
bottle of wine, one starter, two main courses and one dessert cost €81.
Was this the food that so many have praised? Surely not. The attraction
can't be cheapness either, even an espresso is €2.25, so it must
be something else. Perhaps it's the ambience: it's a friendly place and
the waiting staff are excellent. There's a friendly buzz and it has just
the sort of easy feel that makes talking to your neighbours easy.
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