This year an Italian food critic, Eduardo Raspelli, found himself and his newspaper, La Stampa, being sued by the world's largest food retailer. What caused this €20 million action was specifically Raspelli's comment that McDonald's fries 'tasted of cardboard'. Raspelli's other comments on his Macmeal were less than complimentary, but then Raspelli is a vocal supporter of the Slow Food Movement, so you'd hardly be expecting him to enjoy the Fast Food experience. Still, McDonald's reaction seems a little excessive. Surely not even at the Burger University itself can they really believe that they purvey gastronomy. It's fast food, it's convenient, it's quick, it can shut the kids up for a while, it has loads of positive points, but to get upset when someone suggests that a Big Mac isn't <it>haute cuisine is a bit like a whore getting upset at the suggestion that she has loose morals.

McDonald's are of course no strangers to litigation, indeed the longest running case ever in the English courts was that of McDonald's suing Helen Steel and Dave Morris, a postman and a gardener from London. The case ran for two and a half years and eventually the judge ruled in favour of McDonald's. But it was a technical victory. In his summing up the judge ruled that they 'exploit children' with their advertising, produce 'misleading' advertising, are 'culpably responsible' for cruelty to animals, are 'antipathetic' to unionisation and pay their workers low wages. It was exactly the sort of victory that got King Pyrrhus' name into our language. Still, Raspelli's case shows that the Golden Arches are still prepared to turn to the law if they feel under threat. It's a testament to the strength of Raspelli's following and his reputation for honesty and integrity that McDonald's have seen fit to pursue the matter through the labyrinth of the courts.

Italy is a country that takes its food very seriously. It always has done. It's still surprising to me that McDonalds's gained a toe-hold in Italy at all. The philosophy that underpins fast food is anathema to all that the Italian kitchen stands for. Hence the Slow Food movement, a response that isn't just a verbal gainsaying of fast food, but one where the very philosophy of 'preparation with intent' is uppermost. Fact is there isn't much you can say about a fast food meal. It has become in the hands of the McDonald's franchises nothing more than a mechanised process - a process that has been simplified to as few elements as possible and where each and every part of the process has been analysed and controlled. What can you say by way of praise for it? That it was fast? 'That was a great meal - quite the quickest I've had.'

But in truth no one expects a response anyway. No one asks 'Did you enjoy your McFries?' It's not that they don't care - they care about customers en masse, but not so much individually. Besides, it's not really the adults that McDonald's are trying to please. Adults have the money - but the customers that McDonalds want are the children. They spend over $2 billion every year on advertising and promotions, many of the promotions involving schools. Think about it. Just who do you think Ronald McDonald and all those 'free' plastic toys are aimed at? Adults? The thinking is abundantly clear: if you can attract the very young, the adults will reluctantly follow for the sake of domestic harmony and peace.

I did try to get someone to come with me for the McDonald food experience, but every woman I asked said 'could I come with you when you're reviewing somewhere else?', so I ended up on the Kylemore Road with just a crossword for company. I ordered a cheeseburger, fries and a large Coke, which came to €4.80. I ate the burger first, noticing with care how few 'chews per bite' are needed to eat it. That's intentional. Lots of research went into designing a bun and burger that needs little or no mastication. In fact, you can make it disintegrate in your mouth simply by pushing it with your tongue against the roof of your mouth. It makes it very easy to swallow so the whole thing is consumed very quickly, so quickly that it's possible that the stomach is filled before the brain realises that the hunger pangs have been requited. That's why we're often tempted to ask for another almost as soon as the first has gone. Then I ate my chips. Raspelli's contention that the chips taste of cardboard may be the point of the current libel case, but surely no one could reasonably maintain that a mechanically extruded chip made from dehydrated and subsequently re-hydrated potato can have much in common with a chip made from chipping a fresh potato, blanching it and then deep-frying it.

My meal in the 'restaurant' over, I walked over to the McCafe, an area set apart whose main difference appears to be that it has padded seats. Here you can get all the coffee variations and lots of confectioners' gateaux. No cakes for me, but I had an espresso for €1.50, which turned out to be rather good.

What I find most depressing in these fast-food outlets is the drear monotony of it all and the sad youngsters who man the stations. There are probably parking meters in the city centre that earn more money per hour than they do. I've eaten McDonald's burgers before now and I'll eat their burgers again, but I'll never think of a Big Mac as serious food, only as the most basic of fuels to keep body and soul together when other options aren't there.