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There are two things that preoccupy me more than most. The first is my
continuing quest to find good Italian food in Ireland and the second is
the relentless rise in restaurant prices. Let me be clear, I'm not one
of those who think that high prices in Irish restaurants are purely because
of rip-offs: no, I believe that high prices in Ireland are across the
board. Everything costs more here than it does elsewhere. That's not to
say rip-offs don't exist: they do, and some are so great that they verge
on theft.
When I heard about a new Italian restaurant in Bray I had the same reaction
that I normally have: I got hopeful. Could this be my Shangri La? Could
this finally be the place where I could find Italian food as I know it?
My friend Michael Lowsley lives in Bray, so we decided to meet there.
If you know Bray sea-front at all, then you'll know that Campo de Fiori
( Field of Flowers) lives in the space that used to be the quirky vegetarian
restaurant called 'Escape'.
The interior has barely changed since Escape; a coat of paint, some new
prints on the wall. The tables are plain wood; some match, some don't,
some are old Singer sewing tables. The chairs are simple bentwood, the
place mats are plastic. First impressions are of a simple, unpretentious
bistro-style eating house. While Michael studied his menu, I began with
the wine list, which is a well-chosen list of good Italian wines. Obviously
the old favourites are here - the Barolos and the Chiantis - but there
are also three white wines from Mastroberardino, probably the best winery
in the Campania. One of these was the Fiano di Avellino, a wine that Michael
had enjoyed recently in Sorrento, so we picked that.
I asked for a big bottle of mineral bottle and was told that they only
served quarter bottles. Now I've complained often enough that water in
Irish restaurants is overpriced to the point of lunacy, but when it comes
only in quarter bottles the cost of a litre can easily reach €10,
which is clearly insane. You should be suspicious of restaurants that
want to sell you tiny bottles of water one at a time. It's a form of greed,
a means of extracting even more money from you for simple water. This
time I bucked, 'In that case, I'll have a jug of tap water, please.'
The menu is quite long and there are long lists of antipasti, pastas
and main courses. Michael decided on an antipasto, which was good and
varied. Prosciutto, salami and mortadella as well as small plates of other
savouries - including a close approximation to an Italian 'salsiccia'
(a sausage) - made him happy. I'd picked the gnocchi alla Gorgonzola,
which was also good, though with a rich cream and cheese sauce, it was
more than a little filling.
And so we come to the main courses and the substance of my discontent.
Michael had picked the 'grigliata mista' or mixed grill, which, according
to the menu, consisted of pork, lamb and beef and cost €23. I'd chosen
the 'agnello scotadito', which literally means lamb-burn-your-fingers
at €19. You might reasonably suppose that when - as in Michael's
case - you're paying €23 for a main course, that it might come to
you complete. Not here it doesn't. Anything else - right down to a potato
- is extra. So when Michael ordered potatoes, leaf spinach and mushrooms,
each of these 'side orders' added a further €3.50, bringing the cost
of his main course €33.50. I had deliberately not asked for any side
order, just to see exactly how bald a plate the kitchen was prepared to
send me for €19. I got three lamb chops on my plate, with a tiny
spray of shredded lettuce as the garnish and bugger all else. It does
make you wonder what exactly a 'side order' is. I have always understood
it to mean an 'extra', a little something that you fancy over and above
what you're getting with your main course - not the bare essentials needed
to complete it.
There was absolutely nothing wrong with my lamb chops, but then how wrong
can you go with three plain chops untouched by any culinary technique
other than grilling? Michael got a nice lamb chop, a piece of beef, another
couple of salsiccie and a pork chop that appeared to consist of little
other than bone, fat and gristle. For €33.50 this dish represented
a rip-off of such jaw-dropping proportions that even by Irish standards
it takes the prize. To put the price of this single dish into perspective,
last week I had a five-course dinner in Parknasilla in Kerry - a grand
hotel with a grand dining room - for €38. An early-bird set dinner
in the award-winning Chapter One will cost you €30. The trouble with
an experience like this, is that people reason that if a small restaurant
in Bray costs this much, then a top-class restaurant must cost much more.
But they don't. Serious professionals producing high quality food are
charging far less than Campo de Fiori is for its plain fare.
We ordered another bottle of wine, a Chianti Reserva 'Lamole di Lamole'
2000, which Michael had visited in Tuscany - a delicious wine that mellowed
my mood a little. After we'd finished our main courses our waiter gave
us a long list of the desserts that were 'off', while handing us the menus.
Frankly by this point I was bilious with a sense of profound injustice;
another great hope for Italian food in Dublin dashed not by a bad meal,
but rather by excessive over-pricing. No desserts, we had a couple of
coffees and settled the bill, which came to €144.30 before adding
a tip. Very rarely in my life have I left a restaurant feeling that I'd
been mugged, but this was one of those occasions. I thought of my lamb.
Yes, I'd had my fingers burned.
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